EMPTY = VOID
BUT, also
EMPTY =
Opportunity to fill the VOID
Sometimes experiences
in life teach you things that otherwise you wouldn’t probably pay attention to
or aren’t keen on understanding. Your beliefs, purpose of existence would be
destroyed like it’s a world war going on around and inside you. This would
shatter you to pieces which you wouldn’t recognize they were a part of you once
upon a time. With that explosion, you are spread so apart that you wonder how to
start putting it all together, from where and which piece goes where – the jigsaw
is so weird that you feel like giving up.
The stage where
you feel completely empty inside is so dangerous that you are speechless, not
spellbound; numb, clueless, and directionless. All you feel is – PAIN where you
don’t know what to fix and how to fix. Its when you feel a blackhole has taken
a birth in you and you are stuck timelessly, it feels like you are a character
in a multi-dimension movie with a director so bad who has no clue how to end
the movie.
What do you do
when you feel this?
The reason
could be literally anything in life – love, family, career, friends or all or
just YOU. At the end it is the feeling you feel so deep and consuming, not the
cause in most of the numbness you go through.
Let’s just put
it this way, I have my concerns spreading like a rainbow across all the categories.
It’s just that it’s not as pretty a rainbow sadly. But so would be the case for
many of us, not just me. Then why do I feel like something is dead inside? Are
there more zombies out there like me?
The feeling of being
lost in a long desert and stuck like there’s no help coming over and you are just
counting your days. You go deep into a quicksand and slowly knowing you would be
non-existent, but you have absolutely no need or feeling of trying to rescue
yourself, you have accepted your fate and just getting ready to be consumed by
the quicksand.
How do you feel
when you have given so much in your life without much expectation in return or
even receiving it, so much so that you give away a large chunk of your heart. And
don’t know how to fix it as only lung can regenerate, not the heart.
And feel
disabled, like a big hole in your chest where you don’t know who on the face of
this earth can ever fix it! A doctor, a therapist, a construction guy, a tailor,
a magician - who? How do you recover from this? Is there a way where with a
snap this emptiness vanishes?
Empty vessels
make more noises, but when the noises are inside you, the devil is staying in
you as if it’s an AirBnB! How the hell do you oust an emptiness tenant?! Give
notice?
A therapist
will tell you to focus on things that get you engaged; keep you motivated but
how do you do that when your focus is completely out of focus?
Now that I have
elaborated too much on why EMPTY = VOID, can someone somehow show me how to see
the opportunity to fill that void? The theory is known to me, it is the
practicality which is challenging. Like it is said – it is easier said than
done. And pls don’t indicate I’m super negative because I still can sense that
there is an opportunity, just lacking a way there – got the WILL!
To all the soulless
zombies out there – you are not alone. I’m in it with you.
EMPTY ZOMBIE
