EMPTYNESS

EMPTY = VOID

BUT, also

EMPTY = Opportunity to fill the VOID

 

Sometimes experiences in life teach you things that otherwise you wouldn’t probably pay attention to or aren’t keen on understanding. Your beliefs, purpose of existence would be destroyed like it’s a world war going on around and inside you. This would shatter you to pieces which you wouldn’t recognize they were a part of you once upon a time. With that explosion, you are spread so apart that you wonder how to start putting it all together, from where and which piece goes where – the jigsaw is so weird that you feel like giving up.

The stage where you feel completely empty inside is so dangerous that you are speechless, not spellbound; numb, clueless, and directionless. All you feel is – PAIN where you don’t know what to fix and how to fix. Its when you feel a blackhole has taken a birth in you and you are stuck timelessly, it feels like you are a character in a multi-dimension movie with a director so bad who has no clue how to end the movie.

What do you do when you feel this?

 

The reason could be literally anything in life – love, family, career, friends or all or just YOU. At the end it is the feeling you feel so deep and consuming, not the cause in most of the numbness you go through.

Let’s just put it this way, I have my concerns spreading like a rainbow across all the categories. It’s just that it’s not as pretty a rainbow sadly. But so would be the case for many of us, not just me. Then why do I feel like something is dead inside? Are there more zombies out there like me?

The feeling of being lost in a long desert and stuck like there’s no help coming over and you are just counting your days. You go deep into a quicksand and slowly knowing you would be non-existent, but you have absolutely no need or feeling of trying to rescue yourself, you have accepted your fate and just getting ready to be consumed by the quicksand.

How do you feel when you have given so much in your life without much expectation in return or even receiving it, so much so that you give away a large chunk of your heart. And don’t know how to fix it as only lung can regenerate, not the heart.

And feel disabled, like a big hole in your chest where you don’t know who on the face of this earth can ever fix it! A doctor, a therapist, a construction guy, a tailor, a magician - who? How do you recover from this? Is there a way where with a snap this emptiness vanishes?

 

Empty vessels make more noises, but when the noises are inside you, the devil is staying in you as if it’s an AirBnB! How the hell do you oust an emptiness tenant?! Give notice?

A therapist will tell you to focus on things that get you engaged; keep you motivated but how do you do that when your focus is completely out of focus?

 

Now that I have elaborated too much on why EMPTY = VOID, can someone somehow show me how to see the opportunity to fill that void? The theory is known to me, it is the practicality which is challenging. Like it is said – it is easier said than done. And pls don’t indicate I’m super negative because I still can sense that there is an opportunity, just lacking a way there – got the WILL!

 

To all the soulless zombies out there – you are not alone. I’m in it with you.

 

EMPTY ZOMBIE